know thyself...

So I went to open gym at a local middle school the other night. My sister had told me about it. A nearby church sponsors the freebie time and anyone could go play, regardless of affiliation. Iniitally, my sis and I were going to go together, but she became ill. I went anyway since I am always up for basketball, regardless of how horrible I may be.

Those of you who know me well, you know that I am agnostic. My immediate family are regular church goers. And by regular, I mean, at least weekly. They all say grace at dinner time and go to Bible study, etc. So yes, they are believers.. and I am not.

Anyway, one of first things that the group did was stand in a circle and prayed. Out of respect, I bowed my head and was silent for the duration. And then we played ball for the rest of the evening.

So, a few days later, I was talking to my sis and mentioned that I did not expect the prayer part, that it was kind of weird for me. She asked me why, and I didn't have a good answer for her. So I have been thinking about it and I think I've figured it out. Yes, it seems kind of weird that I didn't put the two together, but sometimes that's how my mind works, or not work, depending on how you look at it.

My answer is: I felt uncomfortable in that situation because I felt like I was going against my own beliefs. Out of respect for others (because everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs about things), I will usually bow my head and be silent during those situations. But yes, it really makes me uncomfortable. And yes, it is because I don't believe in the same things, and I am compromising my own beliefs.. I think that is why I don't like situations like that. So there it is, I said it.